The Beginning

Before I met Jesus I was lost. I didn't know what I was doing, why I was doing it, and I never thought that life could be different for me. And for some reason I thought that once you're saved everything will just fall in place. But unfortunately that's not how it works. Who'd ever thought that following the Lord's footsteps would be easy? I thought that if I just read his word and then do what it says then I'd be a good christian. But after while I got bored. Why wasn't this working for me? Was I doing something wrong?

I was in a lot of trouble. Everyone goes through hard times and many live a hard life, but I felt alone - like as if no one else could have possibly understood how I felt or the things I'd gone through. I felt misunderstood.

After just one of the many climaxes in my life, a friend of mine invited me to church. He said, "How would you feel about coming to a church with no religion? You can start a real relationship with God."

What - a church with no religion? He was talking rubbish as far as I was concerned. How does that work? How is that even possible? And what does he mean ' a relationship with God'? But I went with him anyway and when I entered the auditorium kept my guards up. I felt insecure. There was this sense of a presence. I figured that it was God, but I couldn't understand why his presence was there.

Worship started and the church started to sing. But not just sing. Their hands were outstretched and their bodies moved with the beat of the music and of their souls. They were grateful and they were in love with God.

Then the pastor, Joel A'Bell, gave the message. It's funny - most christians remember everything about the time they gave chose to give their lives to God. They can tell you what they were wearing, what time it was, and all sorts of other things. But I don't remember all that. All I remember is the overwhelming feeling of sadness. All of my emotions came up and hit me at once. I felt the hurt and sorrow of my past and the hurt and sorrow of my present, but for the first time I saw hope. I realized that I was broken and Jesus provided a way out from that world. Don't get me wrong, after a year and a half since that day, I'm still broken (as Sy Rogers potently revealed on Wed 22/9/10 at Hillsong's Healing Seminar). But as I said, I had been shown hope, and as a wise man once said, "Living life without hope is like a life sentence; alive, but imprisoned forever."

So I started my journey with God, but on a personal level. I let him into my heart and showed him all of my faults and mistakes. He forgave me - and continues to forgive me - and so Jesus has wiped me clean.